Lia (pixichik) wrote,
Lia
pixichik

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BLAME it on the rain.

This was my day off. I got up this morning at 7, thinking that the phone was my alarm clock. I layed in bed for about two minutes trying unsuccessfully to shut it off, and only when I was fully awake did I realize that it had been the phone. Then I got up and drove for about 3 and a half hours. ROAR. Later today, I suddenly became very sick and weak...and then glenn and I got in another of our huge fights and I got really upset...not surprising. Finally, I ended up walking to the park up the road, and I sat there in the rain on a bench for an hour or so, staring blankly. I wonder if anyone sees things as I do...words and concepts can only take someone so far. I felt an immense compassion towards everyone today...I went out to dinner tonight and as I looked at everyone, I felt as if I could see inside of them...just by the way they acted or presented themselves. And I felt connected - one of those rare moments when I actually believe that everything is just a huge circle...

Grant convinced me to go to the football game last night. It wasn't as interesting as most of the games turn out to be...in fact, it was rather empty. I think I saw a total of about 15 people that I actually knew...it was strange. Anyway, after that we went to Baskin&Robbins, and I saw CAROLYN working there! I guess she's going to some all-girls catholic school in Portland now. I tried to be supernice to her, and it actually worked. She said to me, "yeah, your ex boyfriend came in here with some friend of his, and he was telling me about how much you used to hate me..you know, the one with the blue hair..." grrr! I was surprised that she didn't remember how much of a bitch she used to be to me...but I finally reminded her, and she understood...and we apologized right before we all left...I feel better now that we've cleared things up. Whee.

I need to get out of the house...I know it's only been a few hours since the last time I did...but grrr, I can't stand doing nothing for such long periods of time. I suddenly thought of that REALLY evil "Down to You" movie...did anyone see that? It STILL bugs me, and it's been about 4 months since I last saw it. Their lives seemed so petty. Like, how not eating cake was a crisis in their monotone lives...

I want to live in a bright city with model-thin palm trees and ornate castle-type buildings, with vintage cars driving around with names like Jackal and Veruca, kids with flowery hair and large shoes, eating cherries or reading at an outdoor cafe with cushioned chairs set on the cement sidewalk...and I could sit out on my porch, and from my house I could see the city shining below as if it were wet.

"Cyrus came up behind Cherry. Her wings were quivering with the lights and vibrations of the city. Her wondered how they might feel brushing up against his face. He tried to remember what the sensation had been like when she bit him on the thigh, before he had swatted her away. It didn't register as just a bite anymore, but as something much more glamourous and exquisitely painful..." [still workin' on that story of mine....]

I best be off so that I can call Lehah...I promised her that I would, and anyway...we hardly ever talk anymore, unless we're bickering. Love to everyone...
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